Something New
by RoyxRizaFan
Summary: A story that takes place before Jake *SPOILER* imprints. As Leah gets over Sam, she becomes closer to Jake. Leah's POV. Jake/Leah. If you're a Nessie/Jake fan, please don't read this.
1. The Invitation

Leah Clearwater spun the invitation around in her hands over and over again, not knowing what to make of it

.

I spun the invitation around in my hands over and over again, not knowing what to make of it. In the tree above me, birds chirped happily, probably laughing at my pain. That seemed to be a common pastime around these parts lately.

I thought that I had come to turn with the fact that Sam was marrying Emily, but somehow the thought of actually _going _to their wedding was bothering me. I imagined sitting in one of the pews, watching as they looked at each other with those long, mushy glances, practically drooling over each other and spewing out a bunch of bull shit about ''til death do us part' and 'happily ever after'.

I felt heat rising inside of me. Was it envy that I was feeling or what? No, I'm not jealous of _that_. All that mush – I'm over that. I don't need that in my life, and I'll never have it in my life.

This was better for Sam, anyway. Emily didn't have anger management problems. She was friendly to everyone, accepting of werewolves, and could actually cook without setting the kitchen on fire. He could raise a family with her. If he were with me, on the other hand, it would be impossible to have children. Not that I wanted them, of course. I had already decided that I didn't need all that junk in my life. I was fine by myself. I was independent.

Still, could I actually go to the wedding, whether I wanted to or not? I had just left the pack and run off with Jake and Seth. I was sure that Jared and the others would start interrogating us at the reception. Maybe I could leave right after the wedding. That is, if I decided to go at all.

I didn't hear him come up behind me, so his voice made me jump when he asked, "Hey, Leah. Is that the wedding invitation?"

I quickly shoved it in my pocket. Seriously, Jacob Black was the last person I wanted to talk to right now. As if it wasn't bad enough having him in my head all the time. Even when I took my human form he wouldn't give me any privacy. "What difference does it make to you?"

Jake rolled his eyes as he walked around the tree I was sitting in front of and took a seat next to me. "Snippy as ever, I see. I had a feeling that this wedding would put you in an even worse mood than usual. And that's saying something."

"Thanks for the sympathy, Leech Lover. I knew I could count on you."

Jake crinkled his nose. "_Leech Lover_? What's _that _supposed to mean?"

I laughed coldly. "You practically _live _in that house now. You talk to Cullen as if you're old buddies that grew up together. You practically _worship _the doctor. You're even getting friendly to that fortune teller."

"You're misinterpreting whatever you read in my mind," he told me sourly, as if he were upset that _I _was reading _his _mind. Ha, talk about giving him a taste of his own medicine. "I doing this for Bella, not Edward."

It was as if he was _trying _to piss me off. Adding gas to my fire. "Bella, your princess who happens to be _carrying _one of _them_ inside of her! And since when do you call the bloodsucker by his first name?"

"You know," Jake muttered in a smaller voice, "he's not so bad lately, now that's his ego has died down."

That was it. I jumped to my feet and began storming in the other direction. This conversation wasn't helping me at all. Hell, it was just making things a hundred times worse. "I hope Cullen bites your head off with his fangs, Leech Lover!"

I felt anger welling up inside of me, getting worse and worse every second. I began trembling, but did my best to stay cool. The last thing I needed was to ruin the last outfit I had. As if I hadn't gone through enough trouble convincing Seth to go buy it for me after I refused to wear the vamp clothes.

I slumped up against another tree, as far away from Jake as I could get. My stomach growled noisily. I knew I had to hunt, but it had been so long since I had taken my human form, and I wasn't ready to phase back yet. Besides, I still had to decide whether or not I was going to the wedding or not.

I pulled the invitation out of my pocket again and reread it for the hundredth time. Of course, I had it practically memorized by now. That didn't stop me, though. Staring at their names in the fancy print on the page, I debated again on whether or not to go. I was sure Seth and Jake would go. I was sure it would make Sam feel better if I went. He'd probably feel guilty if I didn't show up, and the last thing I needed to do was ruin his day.

Man, imprinting _sucked_. It really messed things up. It was unnatural, and a little sickening in my opinion. It didn't seem particularly healthy to me. Wasn't love about building a relationship? Wasn't it about working towards something? The perfect, ideal, happily after ever after, conflict free, just didn't seem right. That wasn't what love was about. Wasn't fighting for what you cared about what made a relationship strong? Imprinting just seemed like the easy way out. Besides, it hurt a lot of people in the process. It hurt _me_, at least. Not that how I feel matters. I'd never imprint. I was the dead end of the werewolf gene. I could never reproduce, so it didn't matter if I had a happily ever after or not. I was a _mistake_. Simple as that.

Time passed so slowly nowadays, especially during moments like these as I lay in the grass, vampire stench all around me, wallowing in self-pity. I guess it's been like this for a while, though.

"Hey."

I cringed, sitting up with a jolt. "I thought I told you to get lost?"

"Sorry, I must have forgotten."

I turned around, glaring as menacingly as I could manage at Jake. "What the hell do you want? Have you taken up annoying the hell out of me as a hobby, just like everyone else?"

"Here," he barked in a coarse voice, shoving a plate of food under my nose. "You haven't eaten all day. Eat it."

I pushed the plate back at him. "I'm not eating something that smells like a bloodsucker."

"Eat it."

"You can eat it. You seem to have fallen in love with them, anyway."

Jake groaned, placing the plate next to me in the grass. He leaned forward, taking my face in-between his burning hands and turning it so I was facing him. "Listen, Leah, I don't love any one of them. I just-"

"-Love Bella," I finished for him in a calm tone, prying his hands off of my face. "I know. You've made it pretty obvious."

Jake groaned, brushing a hand through his hair, aggravated. "Get out of my head!"

"Get out of my way!" I retorted, jumping to my feet and stomping away. For once, he was too fast for me, though. He caught up to me in less than a second a grabbed me by the arm, pulling me back.

"I'm – not – eating – it!" I cried, spinning around to face him. He held up a hand in front of himself defensively, looking down at me with his eyebrows raised. Why did he always have to smirk like that? He must be like those birds. Laughing at me and my emotional outbursts. Damn Leech Lover.

"I don't care if you eat it or not. I just wanted to know if you were going to the wedding or not."

I was surprised at how quickly I cooled down. As he mentioned the wedding, I felt a cool breeze passing through me, freezing me inside. "Are you?" I asked in a weak voice.

Jake seemed a little taken aback in my sudden change of tone, but I was sure he was used to my mood swings by now because he responded quickly with, "Yeah, I am. So is Seth. We know it's going to be weird, now that we're in a new pack and everything, but we owe this to both of them. I'd feel terrible if I looked back one day and wished I had gone."

I looked down at my feet. "I try not to think that far ahead. It's overwhelming."

He was quiet for a moment, waiting for me to continue, so when I remained silent, he added, "Well? Will you go?"

I avoided his question again by asking another one of my own. "You're not staying for the reception, are you? The other pack members are going to be _all over us_."

He shrugged, smirking. "Who cares? Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get an excuse to punch Paul, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Happy to see you're looking forward to this suckfest."

"Come on, Leah. You've been sitting around thinking all day; you must know by now. Are you doing it or aren't you?"

"I-I don't know."

Jake groaned. I looked up to see him looking away, up at the sky, as if he were bothered by something. Could it be that he _wanted _me to go? No, of course not. No one cares where I go.

"Leah," he said in a stern, slightly annoyed voice that I hadn't heard him use before. He looked back down at me, his smirk wiped entirely from his face. For once, I missed it. "You have to fight back against the imprint."

I laughed out loud at that, and it felt strange for a moment, seeing as I hadn't laughed in so long. "Do you hear yourself, Jake? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just listen!" he shot back, his lopsided smile creeping slowly back across his face, amused at my reaction. "If you go, it's like showing that you've moved on. Don't let the imprint crush you like that! _Fight back_!"

I was still laughing. "Are you telling me that you're not part of the imprint fan club?"

"No way in hell." He finally gave in to laughter, shoving his hands in his pockets. "It creeps me out a bit. Besides, I doubt it will ever happen to me."

"I _know _it won't happen to me," I responded, trying to keep the bitter edge out of my tone.

"Will you go, then?" he asked again, sounding sure of my answer.

I shrugged. "I like that way that you put it. I guess after you say it like that, I don't have any choice."

Just because I agreed to go doesn't mean I necessarily _wanted _to. This should be interesting, at least.


	2. The Wedding

.

I slumped back in my seat, feeling sicker than ever. As if the wedding hadn't been hard enough to sit through, now I had to watch _all _the happy couples dancing at the reception.

"Whose stupid idea was it to come here?" I wondered aloud. "Oh, right. _Jake's_."

He kicked my leg roughly underneath the table. "Shut up, Leah. Someone might hear you."

Seth shot me a disapproving look. I ignored it, turning away. The last thing I needed was a lecture from _either _of them.

"What happened to 'fighting the imprint'?" I hissed under my breath so my brother couldn't hear. "Sitting here with your retards at the single's table isn't doing me much good, is it?"

"Get off your ass and dance if you've got a problem," he suggested in an impatient voice. "I think _I _might."

"With which one of the vampires? You've got quite a few to chose from."

He glared at me from across the table. "I wasn't talking about them."

"Your princess is here, but she's in no shape to dance. Besides, don't you remember what happened the last time you danced with her at a wedding?"

"Leah!" Seth cried, holding up his hands between us. "Will you stop pressing Jake's buttons? This is Sam's special day! Behave!"

"Like I need my younger brother telling me what to do," I groaned. I wanted to run out of the reception room right then, but for some reason my legs wouldn't move.

"Oh, look," Jake said, cutting me off. "Here comes the other pack."

"If they ask us anything about the leeches, I'll kill them," I muttered acidly.

"Hey, guys," Paul greeted as he came over.

Jake stared at him as if he had lost his mind. " 'Hey, guys'? What kind of Paul greeting is _that_?"

"Paul's a lot friendlier since he imprinted," Jared explained with a joyful smile.

I felt a lurch in my stomach. I was going to be sick. I stood up as fast as I could and rushed to the bathroom.

How pathetic could I be? It didn't take much to upset me. When did I get such a weak stomach, too? I guess all this imprinting talk was just really getting to me. I felt like I was being left behind. It didn't matter if I did or didn't want to imprint. I was being left behind. At this rate, I'd probably be the only werewolf who wouldn't imprint. Then where would that leave me? I tried to imagine my brother imprinting and became even more sickened.

The wedding kept replaying in my mind, and there was no pause button. Images of Sam and Emily making their vows kept popping into my mind. It was as if I _wanted _to torment myself. I fought back, trying to push them away, but they only got stronger.

Jake wasn't helping, either. At this point, I wouldn't be too surprised if he told me he was being adopted by 'Daddy Carlisle'. He was getting close to the Cullens – everyone was, actually. Everyone _but _me, as usual.

I leaned against the wall, catching my breath and calming my stomach. I would have to go back out there and 'fight the imprint' again as soon as I had the chance.

I slipped out, back into the room again. The other werewolves were already off dancing with their 'one and only love of their lives'. I'm surprised all the unlucky girls who were imprinted on didn't drown in all that mush.

I was just heading back over to the table when Jake quickly jumped off of it and walked over to me in long strides. I groaned, crossing my arms as he approached me.

"You're not helping your cause," he said as he got closer. "Now the others know you're upset, and if they know, Sam will soon enough, and that's not going to do him any good."

"He'll be on his honeymoon. I'll be the _last _thing on his mind."

"You're not the only one who has to prove themselves today," he continued. I looked up, curious.

"Trouble in paradise?" I asked, gesturing to the vampire table.

He ignored that. "You need to show you've moved on from Sam and don't care that he's with someone else. I need to do that, too."

Understanding swept through me. "Oh, Bella."

He nodded. "Right. I just need to start breaking free from her is all, and once I do, things will be better on _all _of us. So will you give me a hand?"

I laughed in his face. "What now, Black? What do you want from me?"

He grabbed my arm and began dragging me over to where the others were dancing. Even more understanding came to me.

"No…" I hissed, tugging away from him unsuccessfully. "This won't prove we're over them! It'll prove we're _stupid_! I don't want to show I've gotten over Sam by pretending I'm dating _you_!"

He laughed. "You don't have to date someone to dance with them. It's just to show that we're able to enjoy ourselves with other people. Believe me, Leah, I'm not desperate enough to pretend I'm dating _you_."

"Thanks as usual for the confidence boost, Jake."

"Anytime, really."

I knew there was no more arguing with him and honestly, I didn't have enough determination to fight right now.

I reached up to put my hands on his shoulders, wishing he wasn't so damn tall. He was a terrible dancer and had absolutely no rhythm at all. Neither did I, so I was sure we looked like idiots up there, stumbling over each other's feet.

"Everyone's staring," I muttered under my breath, feeling my cheeks reddening. For some reason, I felt really self-conscious.

"No one's staring. It's all in your head."

I peeked over my shoulder. "Liar. They're definitely staring."

"They're probably just amazed by how much you talk when you dance."

I stomped as hard as I could on his foot (it went well with our terrible dancing, so I'm sure no one else noticed that it was on purpose).

"Shut up, Leah."

"I didn't say anything, Leech Lover."

I was grateful when the dance ended. I began to pull away, but Jake stopped me. "Come on! 'Let's give them something to talk about'!"

" 'How about' no, no, NO!"

"They're just getting excited," he muttered, eyeing our large audience. "Let's not stop before we begin."

I sighed. "Fine, then. _'Let's give them something to talk about_'." I pulled myself closer to him, wrapping my arms around him tighter than I should as I began swaying back and forth again. He returned the action, and I felt the amount of eyes on my back double. I smirked against his chest, feeling victorious. _Fight the imprint_.

Jake was sure weird, even for a werewolf. Somehow he was even hotter than I was. I felt myself becoming warmer and warmer, the longer I danced with him. His breath blew against my hair rhythmatically, and his arms held me tightly. He was starting to fall into momentum with the music and after a minute, I noticed I was, too. I hadn't danced like this since I had been with Sam. That seemed like ages ago now. I guess it was. After being left behind so much, and forgotten, it almost felt nice to be this close to someone, even if it was just for show.

The dance ended and we broke apart, turning to head back to our table. We were completely silent as we sat down, looking in different directions. I wondered if he wished it weren't over, like I almost did. Almost being the key word.

I wasn't paying much attention to the rest of the reception until Emily flung her bouquet at me as they left for the limo. It fell neatly in my lap. I looked down, taking it my hands. Sam and Emily probably _planned _that she would throw this to me, just to kiss up. I would bet money on that.

"It's over," Seth said, standing up and stretching.

"I _know_," I hissed, standing up so abruptly that my chair fell over. I didn't bother to pick it up.

"What's got you so sour?" he demanded. "You caught the bouquet."

"It was _thrust _into my _lap_. That's not catching."

Seth sighed heavily, leading the way out of the building. "It was a nice thought, at least."

"Sure," I grumbled, tossing the bouquet into the trash as I left. "It's just his way of getting rid of his guilt. I don't need anyone else in my life. I don't need to imprint."

"All right, all right! Don't get defensive!" Seth cried, shooting me an uncertain, almost worried glance, as if he thought I was losing my mind.

Who knew? Maybe I _was_. Only time would tell.


	3. The Aftermath

.

I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I scrunched over, deep in the forests, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs. A shiver went through my body, and I cursed myself for being so weak.

I had already known that he was going to marry Emily. Why did it hurt so much to see it actually happen?

I shut my eyes, remembering back to when Sam was mine. Forcing the memories onto myself was the only way I figured I could heal. If I hurt now – if I hurt so much that it was impossible to suffer anymore – I would be able to move on.

I tried to recall them – the best days of my life. I forced happy memories after happy memory onto myself. That's when I realized something extraordinary.

I wasn't hurting as much as I thought I was.

My eyes fluttered open and I loosened my grip around my legs. I tried to recall the memories, but they didn't hurt as much as I wanted them to. The pain I was feeling I was forcing upon myself. I wasn't really trying to release the pain. I was trying to feel the pain, because it scared me to think this didn't hurt me. To think that I had moved on from Sam was impossible. It had hurt to see him kissing Emily at that alter, knowing it could have been me. Not as much as it should have, though.

Now I was just plain scared. The one thing that I had been certain about when I had become a werewolf was how I felt about Sam. It was the one thing that was constant and held true to both my lives. If I wasn't as upset as I should have been, that meant that the last piece of my old life was falling away from me. I was changing, and fast, but I couldn't keep up with myself.

I wanted to phase, so that I wouldn't have to think about this any longer. That wouldn't help, though. Even if I ran from my problems, they wouldn't vanish. They'd just grow. I had learned that from Jake when he had run away from Bella. I cringed at the thought – I really couldn't tell what he saw in that mosquito worshipper.

Speaking of Jake, where had he and my brother gone after the wedding? I had sort of run off ahead of everyone else. I wondered what they were doing right now. I would bet money that they were huddled together with those damn bloodsuckers, making snide comments about my attitude at the wedding.

My thoughts drifted to Bella. Had she seen me dancing with her precious Jacob? I smirked to myself, imagining her expression when she saw us dancing. She was very possessive over the things in her life, so it amused me to think of her having to lose something for once, even it were only for a moment.

It was silly that I had joined this pack even though I wasn't fond of her or the spawn growing inside of her. The biggest reason had been to escape Sam, but part of me had actually believed in the cause. I wasn't too keen on killing them all, even if I wasn't fond of them. Besides, I had to keep an eye on Seth. So just because I'm in this pack doesn't mean I like Bella.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself to my feet and began heading back to the house. I wandered through the woods, piling up a few comebacks in my mind just in case anyone dared to complain about my behavior at the wedding and reception.

I saw Seth pass by in a blur to my right. He paused for a moment, blinking over at me with his head cocked to the side. I tried to smile over at him reassuringly, and after a moment of consideration, he took off again to patrol the area. I sighed and continued on to the house.

"Leah!" Jake called in shock as I approached him. He was sitting on the front porch of the Cullen's mansion. I stopped dead in my tracks, not wanting to go any closer to that reeking hellhole of a house. "I didn't expect you to come back so soon."

I crinkled my nose in disgust. "What? You thought I'd spend my entire day off in the woods, curled into a ball, screaming and crying over Sam? I'm not that weak, Jake!"

He rolled his eyes. "God, do you get defensive. I didn't mean that at all. I just thought you'd want some time to yourself."

I rolled my eyes right back at him. "I don't care about the wedding."

Jake laughed softly – not a mocking laugh, but a sympathetic one. "What do you mean, you 'don't care about the wedding'? Of course you do! I saw how upset you were when we left!"

"That's because freaking Emily chucked her stupid flowers at me," I retorted bitterly. "_That's _what set me off."

Jake yanked off his tie, tossing it to the side with a laugh. "That _was_ pretty bad, actually. She meant well, though."

"Of course she did."

"You never give anyone a break, do you?"

"If I do, I'm going to get walked over by a bunch of controlling losers who think they're better than me," I snapped without really thinking of what I was saying before I did. Jake raised an eyebrow at me and I looked away, feeling my cheeks reddening. "Just leave me alone, will you?"

"You're the one that came to me."

There was a break of silence. I wasn't entirely sure why I hadn't walked away yet. Why should I sit here, wasting my time talking to this moron? He found everything I said and felt as a joke. He didn't give a shit about the real me. Even though I knew this, my legs refused to move. Maybe it was because I knew company was what I needed more than anything right now, even if they weren't that great.

Jake didn't move, either. He continued to sit, watching me. It was as if he were studying my expression and trying to figure out what I was thinking.

"You're very insecure, aren't you?" he asked suddenly. He sounded serious enough, but I was sure that once I gave an answer, he'd start laughing and turn it into a joke, just like everything else I did.

I shot him a menacing glare, feeling the irritation inside of me increasing. "You're very annoying, aren't you?"

He stood up, pulling off his jacket and dropping it next to his tie. He slowly began walking towards me, still watching me curiously. "Seriously, Leah, you have absolutely no self respect. That's why you're so defensive."

"What are you, a physiatrist?" I snapped. "Go talk to your precious Bella if you want to test your psychiatric skills. She really needs them right now, more than anyone else."

He shook his head. "No, today I think you win her out."

"Are you telling me I'm crazy?" I looked over at him, feeling the last ounce of my patience vanishing.

"No, I never said I was a physiatrist or that you were my patient. I'm just trying to figure something out."

I rolled my eyes, sighing deeply. I begged my feet to move – to storm away from this nuisance – but they didn't listen.

He cocked his head to the side to see my face, which was tilted away from his. "So? Are you?"

"What? Insane? Your patient?"

"_Insecure_!"

"Maybe I am!" I cried, turning back to face him so quickly that we almost butted heads. "What the _hell _do you care about it? Maybe I'm _not_! Maybe I'm just upset! Maybe I just don't get along with everyone!"

Who was I kidding, though? I had no idea why he was being so weird and asking these lame questions, but he _was _right – I was insecure. I had hardly any friends, I was the only female werewolf, and my ex-boyfriend had just been married. I guess I _did _feel self conscious, but this wasn't exactly a topic I needed to discuss with anyone, especially Jake, who probably would find this as a joke and start picking on me more often.

"Stop bugging me, Jake. I don't need your sympathy," I hissed under my breath, finally managing to take a few steps back. "Your false sense of concern is going to come back and bite me in the ass if I let down my guard."

"What kind of thing is that to say?" he demanded, crossing his arms. "What do you think I am?" Before I could answer, he added, "Didn't I help you at the wedding today? You think I'm just trying to annoy you? God, you're _so _over reactive about _everything_!"

"Sorry I'm not perfect like your bloodsucker friends," I sneered, feeling a bit childish as I said it. Why was I being so stupid?

I looked at Jake's face, full of confusion and maybe even a little hurt. I knew he was trying to help me – I was fooling myself to think otherwise. It was hard to open up to someone, though. I was too afraid of getting hurt.

But '_Sorry I'm not perfect like your bloodsucker friends'_? What kind of thing was that to say? Sure, I was a little bitter – okay, really bitter – about his relationship with the Cullens. Same went for my brother. I shouldn't say something stupid like that, though. I sounded like an attention craving brat.

Not that that was too far off from what I really was.

I slumped down, falling onto my knees. I kept my eyes focused on the grass as I tried to figure out what to say next without letting my emotions take over and cause me to make another stupid remark like my last one.

"Sorry about that, Jake," I muttered so softly that I wondered if he could even hear me. "I am a bit insecure. I'm the only female werewolf – the only one who can never imprint or have children or any of that. I'm also alone – Sam left me for Emily. I don't have many friends because I've scared everyone away with my short temper, and even now, I'm sure my brother would prefer to talk to Edward than me. Edward's smart and doesn't let his emotions control everything he does. He doesn't take out his shit on others like I do." I shook my head, smiling sadly to myself. "Compared to the Cullens, I'm nothing. There's no competition there."

Even Bella, who wasn't technically one of them, was better than I was. Sure, she was just as selfish. She was prettier, though, and not as violent. She didn't yell as much. She didn't complain as much. No, I was definitely the worst one in this group. And I knew it.

Another image of Emily and Sam at the alter flashed through my mind, followed by me running out of the reception hall and hiding in the bathroom. I was so pathetic, and I hated myself for it.

The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of Jacob Black, but I couldn't stop myself. I never cry in front of people, but right then, I couldn't hold it in. Everything was so overwhelming, and the only way to prevent the tears would be to start talking again. The last thing I needed was to open my mouth and make things worse, so I kept silent and allowed the water burning behind my eyes to fall out and slip down my cheeks. I kept my gaze focused on the ground as I felt my shoulders beginning to shake. Oh, was this embarrassing. No one was ever going to let me live this down. What was more embarrassing than crying in public?

I felt a warm arm draping around my shoulder and looked to the side through my watery eyes. Jake was sitting next to me with his arm placed awkwardly around me. He wasn't looking me in the face as he pulled me against his shoulder. I didn't know if I should be even more self-conscious or just shocked. I was thankful he didn't say anything or crack any jokes. I buried my face into his shoulder and just let my tears fall, not really caring anymore what he thought.

_Author's note: Thanks again for reading! I hope you're enjoying it! _

_I've noticed a lot of people are reading this without leaving reviews. I would _love _it if you'd take a moment to tell me what you think! It really motivates me to keep writing when I get feedback! Thanks again!_


	4. The Ride

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"Hey, Leah, wait up!"

I cringed at the sound of Jake's voice, feeling heat creeping up onto my cheeks. As if I wasn't self-conscious _enough _just _thinking _about what an ass I had made of myself the other day. Sobbing like a baby onto _Jacob Black's _shoulder. Sure, he didn't say anything snide to me, but I'm sure he was thinking terrible things in his head about how I was weak and needy. Of course, if he had said it out loud at the time, I wouldn't have denied it. I _was_. Recently, at least.

Usually I was in his head, and it was annoying as all hell. The other day had been the first time I _wanted _to get inside his head. I wished I knew what he had been thinking when I had made such an embarrassing scene.

I turned my head half around, not entirely making eye contact. "What is it, Jake?"

It took Jake a moment to catch up to me. He was always slower than I was. This was generally a _good _thing – I had a great time rubbing it in his face. Right now, though, I wished he'd hurry up and tell me what he needed to and go away.

He grinned his goofy grin down at me as I waited expectantly for him to tell me what he wanted to say. Waiting less than a second, I snapped, "What _is _it?"

His eyebrows rose and he laughed at the annoyance in my voice. "I see you're back to your cranky old self."

"Why _wouldn't _I be?" I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking away. The sooner he forgot the other day, the better.

He sighed before getting on with what he had to say. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a bike ride."

I spun back around, not afraid to laugh in his face. "I'd rather play patty cake with the leeches than go on one of your motorcycles!"

He rolled his eyes. "I meant an actual _bike_, Leah."

My faced scrunched in confusion. "Where is _this _coming from? You just woke up and decided you needed to go ride your bike?"

He shrugged. "Sort of." As I opened my mouth to complain, he hurried on. "It's just that you were so down yesterday that I thought we needed a break from being werewolves and that we should just be, well, _humans _for a change. Bike riding just sounded like the most fun."

"Forget about _yesterday_," I hissed. "That was all a _mistake_."

"Showing how you feel is a mistake?"

"Damn straight."

He decided to ignore my stubbornness. "So, are you coming for a bike ride or are you going to sit around here inhaling vampire fumes all day?"

"As if _you _have a problem with that." I stared off in the distance, debating on what to do. At last, I sighed in defeat. "_Fine_, Jacob Black. I'll go on a _bike ride _with you."

He grinned broadly. "Great! Let's go get the bikes, then!" He took hold of my wrist and pulled me in the direction of the Cullen's garage. I groaned again.

"I thought you said this was to get away from vampire fumes?" I sneered.

"Advertisers have to bend the truth now and then."

We pulled out two of the bikes and got positioned for take off. As I got seated, I realized how long it had really been since I had been on a bike ride. How long _had _it been, really? Months, or years?

Either way, I was sitting on one now, and I was ready for take off.

"No races today," Jake began as he placed his foot on the pedal. "It takes the fun out of things."

"Yeah, I'd assume that losing all the time _would _make things a little less enjoyable," I teased, pushing off.

I wasn't very out of shape, especially after all the hunting and patrolling I had been forced to do lately, but it still felt weird to be using the muscles in my leg the way I was. It really _had _been a long time. As I picked up speed, I kind of felt like I had missed it.

The wind blew quickly, beating hard against my face and pushing my short hair back. I pushed forward as fast as I could, speeding past Jake. The stronger the wind hit me, the better I felt. Rushing so quickly away – leaving all my problems behind – truly _was _a breath of fresh air, even if the bike reeked of bloodsuckers.

I pushed up a hill and my decline in speed allowed Jake to catch up to me. After a minute, I had reached the top. Here came the fall.

I slid down the hill, no longer pedaling. The speed picked up, faster and faster, but I never touched the breaks. This was best part of the ride; I wasn't going to slow it down.

Sure, when I was in my werewolf form, I moved quickly, if not even faster. There was something about doing it in my human form, though, that made it even more enjoyable. After a moment, I realized I was actually laughing. It didn't feel right, at the same time I felt like I had been waiting for it. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest as I laughed, and I was so light that I could have flown it gravity wasn't pulling me down.

I stopped after a moment, remembering that I wasn't alone. I glanced out of the corner of my eye at Jake, but he was laughing, too, listening to me.

"I _told _you you'd enjoy it!" he called over the rushing winds.

I couldn't help it – I shot him a smile.

The ride was over before it began in my opinion. I rode until my legs weakened, though I wasn't ready to stop. Jake and I placed the bikes back in the garage and fell over outside, lying in the grass, panting.

"That was great, huh?" Jake said aloud. "It's been _ages _since I've ridden one of those!"

"Same here," I gasped, trying to even my breathing. "It was so weird, yet so…I don't know…perfect."

"I never thought I'd hear you refer to something in your life as perfect."

"Your Bella and her mosquitoes are perfect, aren't they?"

He decided to ignore that, too. Rolling over, he grinned at me. "So, will you admit it? I was right, wasn't I?"

I frowned. "About what?"

"Didn't that make you feel better?" he asked, propping himself up on his elbow. "It made you forget about werewolves and everything, right?"

I sighed. "It was only for a moment, though. I remember everything now."

His smile faded a bit and his voice lowered as he suggested, "Why don't we go for another one tomorrow?"

I considered it for a second. I'd _love _to, of course. I wanted to so badly. If I did, though, it was like admitting that I was weak and needed help healing. That was the last thing I needed everyone to think of me.

"Maybe another time," I muttered, looking away from him.

He was silent for a moment, and I almost expected him to start yelling at me and demanding a reason. I was shocked when he calmly agreed. "All right, then. Whenever you want to."

I shot a sideways glance at him, but he was on his back again, just simply watching the clouds drifting through the sky. I followed his gaze, not entirely knowing what to think.

What did it matter, though? I had laughed for the first time in ages, and for once, I think I actually felt kind of good about myself – maybe.


	5. The Escape

.

I walked along casually, nudging the long grass with my paws as I went, my mind drifting in every which direction.

I wondered if I looked into a mirror, would I recognize myself? I felt that lately I'd been acting like an entirely different person.

I felt silly, first of all. I had been far too emotional the past few days. Screaming, laughing, and crying, and for the entire world to see, without putting hardly any effort forward to conceal my feelings, like I should. I felt like a book that had been left lying open on a table, unable to close itself. Anyone could read me, especially Jacob Black.

I almost felt like Jake was inside of my head. I had been hanging around him so much since I had received the wedding invitation. Sure, I was always hanging around Jake, but it had been _different _lately. I had shown so many sides of myself in front of him, and I was beginning to feel a little self conscious about it. Why did he even bother hanging around me? He's even told me before what a nuisance he thought I was. I knew I was one, too – I wasn't going to deny it.

It was difficult looking back at the past week or so, knowing how much of myself I had revealed unconsciously, without meaning to. I felt as if all my defenses had been broken down and that there was no way to protect myself. Unfortunately, I couldn't take it back, either. Once he had seen those different sides of me, I couldn't turn back time to make him forget. I had to be more careful with what I said and did. Otherwise, I'd scare him away.

Not that I cared what Jake did or didn't do, of course.

Seth was a short ways off, pacing back and forth around the Cullen's mansion. I knew he could see me moping, but he knew better than to bug me. Either he was being considerate, or he thought I'd start being a bitch if he came within ten feet of me. Maybe it was both. Either way, I accepted the privacy thankfully. I wasn't feeling too much like myself. It was like I was experiencing one of those strange out of body experiences. The last thing I needed was to be interrogated on top of it.

Luckily, Jake was inside with the leeches, otherwise I was guaranteed an interrogation. He was nosy when it came to things like this. I guess I couldn't place the blame entirely on myself when it came to how much Jake had seen the past few days. He was always sticking his nose where it didn't belong.

A cool breeze came through, ruffling my long fur. I sat down, letting out a low moan. I wasn't sure what to do with myself anymore.

What was I doing, anyway, running around all day to protect the bloodsuckers and the monster baby? My instincts kept telling me to not become part of it, but for some reason, I stayed. I supposed there was nowhere else to go.

I was also surprised that I didn't miss La Push in the least. I was glad to be rid of Sam and Emily, shocking as it was. I was never going to get over him if he was around all the time, inside my mind. I felt more comfortable with the new, smaller pack.

Glancing over at the house, I began to wonder what could be happening in there right now. How much longer until the monster was born? What happened to the pack _after _that? I sure as hell wasn't going to sit around and adore the baby mosquito, no matter what my leech loving brother _or _Jake wanted. They could stay here. After the birth, I was long gone.

Though to where, I still had almost no idea. The best option was probably what Jake and I had discussed a few days back about just going out and living in the wilderness. I supposed that would be all right.

There was a loud noise as the garage door opened. I raised my head, not used to the Cullens leaving the house. One of their beautiful cars sped out of the garage and down the driveway, already flying. As it drove past me, I spotted Jake in the driver's seat. His expression sent a chill down my spine. He looked angry, betrayed, and hurt all at once. I wasn't sure how someone like me could depict the emotions so easily, but Jake was an easy person to read, I guess. It wasn't normal to see him looking so upset, though.

Glancing back at the house, I was able to piece things together. It had to be that damn Bella again. She must have said something hurt Jake, like she always did. As if she were the only person in the world. Just because the entire town of Forks worshipped her didn't mean that we should have to take her shit, though. I stood up, my hair rising on my back.

Bella had always bugged me. She was so self centered and selfish. I supposed I wasn't too much better, but at least I didn't _intentionally _force my problems onto everyone else shamelessly like she did. It wasn't my fault the pack could read my mind. It wasn't my fault that Jake pried answers out of me. I wasn't trying to get attention, no matter what they might think. And I surely never took someone's feelings and used them for my advantage the way she did with Jake.

Not that anyone loved me, but even if someone did, I'd never hurt them like that.

I thought of Jake and how he had been so supportive around the time of the wedding. "Fight the imprint!" I remembered how he had offered to dance with me, for the whole party to see. I remembered how he had let me cry on his shoulder and hadn't teased me for it. I remembered our bike ride, and how hard he had tried to make me laugh, and how he had succeeded.

Even if that damn werewolf was a nuisance, he was a _kind _nuisance. No one had ever put in so much effort to cheer me up and push me forward before now. Jake seemed to naturally lift people's moods, so why did it seem that everyone else naturally brought his down, especially Bella, whom he had helped the most over the past _years_? It just didn't seem right.

I quickly phased into my human form, yanking my clothes on as quickly as I could before sprinting to the Cullen's house. This would be my first time going in there, and it wasn't a confrontation I was anticipating, but none of that mattered. I owed Jake after all he had done, and inhaling a little vampire stench wasn't going to kill me.

I stormed right through the front door, not even bothering to knock. I slammed it shut behind me, shaking the walls of the house, before storming forward to where she sat on the couch, smiling and laughing as her family surrounded her, grinning at her, encouraging her, telling her how much they loved her, reminded her of how special she and her child were. Did Jake ever get shown that kind of appreciation? What had Bella done to deserve this? She had caused Jake to run away once, and he hadn't come back for quite a long time. He had left once again, and this time I wasn't going to forgive her.

They finally looked up, shock gleaming on their stone faces as they looked me up and down, as if not believing that I was actually standing in their living room. I had eyes only for Bella, though. I was positive that it had been something she had said that had upset Jake. It was _always _her.

"You said something to upset him _again_, didn't you?" I demanded in a harsh tone, crossing my arms as I glared down at her. She seemed to shrink under my hard gaze.

"I didn't _mean _to," she defended. "I didn't mean to upset him, I was just so happy that I almost forgot about how he must feel."

"It wouldn't be the first time!" I snapped, feeling my voice tremble from rage. "You always do things without _ever _considering how it'll affect him! Do you know what just happened?" I hissed, pointing over my shoulder. "He's left, _again_! All I can say is that he _better _come back, or I'm holding you responsible!" I let out a groan, rolling my eyes at her. "I don't get why you keep him around if all you're going to do is put him through all of this! Always begging him to stay, just to push him away over and over again, telling him that you love him just to say that it isn't enough, and that you don't want him anymore. Then, the next day, you'll have him come back again!" I glared down at her once again. Her eyes were beginning to water. Good. That meant I was getting my point across. "So knock it the hell off, Bella Cullen, because if you ever hurt him _again_ – and I'm sure you will, as always – you'll be answering to _me_, and _my _fangs!"

"That's enough!" Edward cried, grabbing me by the arm and pushing me to the door. "I won't have you coming in here and talking to Bella like that."

Of course not. I was surprised they didn't kill me right there for making their princess cry. "The truth's the truth, vamp. It's not my fault if she can't handle it."

He slammed the door even harder than I had only a second after I stepped onto their porch. I glanced back at it, shooting it a bitter glare, before trekking back over to the woods to phase.

I sat there, allowing everything that had happened to sink in, swishing my tail back and forth behind me as the sun began setting. I felt relieved – almost giddy – after having finally given Bella a piece of my mind. Jake was too nice to her, so I had to take the responsibility and put her in line.

I felt strange, though, sitting out on the lawn of the girl I had just fought with and her adorers. I didn't belong here, protecting Cullen land, after I had just threatened one of the people I was protecting. Perhaps I didn't have to wait until the birth. Perhaps I should leave _now_.

No, I was going to wait until Jake came back. Who knows – he might agree to come with me. I knew Seth wouldn't.

I wasn't afraid to go on alone, though. I'd been alone most of my life, anyway. Nothing much would change.

I heard the sound of his car again. I hadn't expected him to come back so soon. I debated for a moment, wondering if I should bother to tell him where I was going, before phasing and pulling on my clothes. I darted out into the street, jumping in front of the car so he pulled it to a halt.

Jake rolled down the window, poking his head out to shoot me an annoyed glance. "Are you _nuts_? What if I _hit _you?"

"I doubt a car could kill me," I muttered, rushing over to his open window. "I'm surprised you're back already."

He frowned. "What? You thought I was going to vanish into Canada again?"

I shrugged. "It was possible, wasn't it? I would if the bloodsuckers treated me the way they treat you." I leaned down, dropping my voice to a whisper. "Even though I'm not the one in there, I feel a little _used_." I took a deep breath, focusing on my shoes. I wasn't sure if he'd be able to accept what I had to say next. "Jake, I'm leaving."

He paused a moment before asking, "What are you talking about?"

I glanced up uncertainly. "I can't stay around here any longer, Jake. I need to leave right away."

He seemed confused. He blinked, taking slowly. "W-where are you going?"

I shrugged. "Wherever my legs bring me."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight."

He sighed, leaning back in his seat. "That's too bad, really." He shot an awkward glance at me. "Sure you don't want to wait a few days? The baby's due soon."

I shook my head. "No more waiting. I've wasted enough time."

He let out another, longer sigh. "Why now?"

A pause. "It's complicated."

"I've got time."

I took a deep breath before plunging forward. "Jake, this isn't right. It isn't _healthy_. We can't sit around here, letting the vampires and Bella walk all over us all the time. We have to move on – to be independent! It's just not right."

Jake winced. "You know what happened, then?"

"I got the main idea." I smirked. "I gave it to them good." I wasn't sure if he'd approve or not, but at this point I was sure I was leaving by myself, so it didn't matter.

He looked at me, confused again. "Huh?"

I shook my head. "I'm leaving now, Jake. I don't have time to sit around and talk about it. I have to go _do _it!"

"Wow," was all he said as he started up the engine again. "I don't really know what to say."

_Say you'll go with me_, I mentally begged him. "Don't say anything, then. I don't care one way or another." I backed away from the car and into the forest. "Later, then?" _Pleas say you'll come. Don't let me go alone_. _I've been alone long enough_.

"Yeah, later." He started the engine again, driving back into the villain's lair, straight into Bella's lap.

I was completely inside the trees now. His car was gone, and so was I, apparently. I had to leave now.

I pulled off my clothes before phasing, leaving them in a pile near the tree. I supposed I wouldn't need them, so I left them there as I began racing off into the wilderness.

Even in my wolf form, I felt lost. Not lost as in I didn't know where I was going – though I didn't, actually – but lost in my mind. I wasn't sure what to think. Somehow, I had been sure that Jake would come with me. How wrong I had been. He could never leave Bella. I should have known that. All his help over the past few days hadn't meant anything. It never would, either.

At least I had been able to make a good exit.

I sped along, moving faster and faster, leaving the whole mess behind me. Things could be simpler now. Nothing could hold me back anymore.

Faintly, I could hear another set of paws behind me. I was going to kill Seth for following me.

_Wait _up! _Man, Leah, don't you ever slow down? _

I came to an abrupt halt, startled to hear _Jake's _voice. I spun around, cocking my head at him. Sure enough, he was running behind me, struggling to catch up.

_Jake_, I thought, _what the _hell _are you _doing _here?_

_Edward told me what happened between you and Bella, _he told me.

Shit. Now he was going to lecture me.

_I'm not going to lecture you. _

_Get out of my head. _

He rolled his eyes, but didn't bother to remind me that that wasn't possible. _I'm here to _thank _you, for crying out loud!_

_Thank me? _Was he crazy? I had just verbally attached his precious Bella and he was coming to _thank _me?

_I don't entirely agree with what you did_, he continued, _but the thought that was put behind it was good. Thanks for sticking up for me, Leah. _

Like it mattered. Either way, I was on my own now. I was beginning to wonder if I had made a mistake after all.

_So, where are we headed?_

I let out a laugh. _We? Don't you need to go help give birth to the spawn?_

He shook his head. _I'm sure they can handle themselves. Besides, I'm not sure I could stand it. _

Jake was actually going to come with me. I wasn't going to be alone in this after all. I was sure that if I were in my human form, I would've been smiling. _What if I told you it was to late? _I teased him as we began running, side-by-side.

_Yeah, right. It's not my fault you run so damn fast_.

Sure, Jake could be a nuisance, and I was sure we'd drive each other insane. We got along enough that I was sure this could work, though. If we put some effort forward, I was sure we could get along just fine.

_Author's note: Thanks so much for reading my story! This is how _Breaking Dawn _should have ended (at least I think so). Jake and Leah belonged together! Anyhow, thanks again for reading, I hoped you liked it and that you'll drop me a review and let me know what you thought!_


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